posted
I use MS Explorer. I am old. I don't want to change, so don't try to change me. On the left, is a sidebar with a "favorites" list. I have 50 things give or take a couple listed there. For those who don't use Explorer, it is a list of websites that you can go to with one click. (I think Firefox calls them "bookmarks," but I don't really know or frankly care. Boy I am in a cranky mood.)
The computer we use is a family computer. Okay, it is 95% Pink Floyd computer, 5% Mrs. Pink and Pink Katrina who is 14. I have always told Pink Katrina that she can go to any of the websites on my "favorites" list. Up until now. She has her own list with 8 sites (used to be 5) that she can go to. Along with my 50. I visit her 8 sites quite regularily just to make sure they are appropriate. I have had to veto a couple of her sites, but all in all they are mostly Orlando Bloom and Hillary Duff type sites along with PBS.org where she spends most of her on-line free time.
Monitoring computer time for teenagers has always been a challange for me. I put a filter in place along time ago when I had both boys at home, and as made it a habit to check the cookies file regularily to make sure they weren't bypassing it. I could tell if they had deleted cookies, so we got pretty good at accommodating each other. (Pink Billy Joe got pretty good at finding "bikini babe sites" that my filters wouldn't catch. It got to be kind of a game.)
Now I'm rambling. But perhaps my rambling here will end for good. As I said. I am old. I don't like the way some of the threads have gone lately. It is easy for me to ignore them for the most part. But some of the things that appear in the first two lines and find their way to the "Todays Active Topics" or whatever that page is called are enough to make me blush. Even some of the thread titles are, well, I don't know. I know this is Kathryn and Kristins party. I know I am a guest here. And I appreciate the way this forum has been able to be an open discussion about things I find interesting. (Although the "Macro Evolution" title alone makes my eyes glaze over.) I guess I just think it is ironic that of the 50 or so "favorite" websites on my list, only Nauvoo is banned from my daughter. Am I alone here? Are you comfortable with your teenage (13 to 19 soon to be missionary age) child being here? Does any one else wonder what our 2 soon to be missionaries think? Could your teenage children visit every website on your favorites list? Or am I just a prude. Go ahead, I can take it.
So what is on your favorites list. I have The Hunger Site that everyone should be clicking on every day, 2 NASA sites, 4 US Newspapers, 6 foreign papers or news sites, one Bonsai tree site, 2 Health care sites (Web MD is really cool for those who don't know about it.) 4 movie review sites, 2 weather sites, Doonsbury, my ward website, a cool seaturtle site, 2 crossword puzzle sites, and Nauvoo, T&S, Tyro's and Grasshoppers site (in hopes he isn't dead someplace.) The rest are boring work sites. What kind of websites do you have and visit often?
Posts: 11718 | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged |
Just kidding! It's pretty squeaky clean, isn't it? And no Orlando Bloom!
Oh, it's squeaky clean, it is just that NOTHING HAPPENS THERE FOR LIKE 3 WEEKS AT A TIME. (Shouting intended.)
Posts: 11718 | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
It's chopped up into topics (or folders). Like I have "Church--LDS" and "Church--Catholic" and "Church--Jewish." Have "History" and "News" and so forth. I just use Yahoo's browser which is what SBC provides. I think it is Internet Explorer in disguise. It may be that not all browsers allow you to chop it up into folders.
posted
I only have about 20 favorites and I think that is too many to manage.
My teenage son would probably not be interested in this board. There is not enough football talk for him. I would probably feel uncomfortable with him reading some threads.
My favorites list has a 4 Hawaiian language sites, 9 scrapbooking sites, 3 cooking/recipe sites, Nauvoo and my teenagers school site.
Posts: 62 | Registered: Mar 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
My daughter is 2 1/2, but at the rate she is learning to use the computer (she can open the browser, find the icon for the fisher-price games site, find her favorite scene stamping game, and point the mouse to various tiny square 'stamps'...as well as type her name with some degree of accuracy ), I should probably revisit what I have on my favorites list. This includes How to Clean Anything, Family group pages/blogs, map tools, anagram generator, children's museum, preschool games, library, health insurance site, several financial sites, lds clipart, church, jk rowling, beautifulsining.com, survey & mystery shopping sites, several stores I frequent online, some sheet music sites, other forums...
Posts: 5737 | Registered: Oct 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I lost my favorite, but I am building them up again. When I have them complete I will have these folders: info (bank, library etc), message boards, scrapbooking, deals (coupons, travel), fonts, kidstuff.
Posts: 5025 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
My kids do not browse the internet yet. When the do I will have no problems with them visiting nauvoo. I will be happy to discuss with them any of the threads in dscussion here assuming they have interest.
I guess I'm not quite sure what here would be conterproductive for children to read. I can see some that would be boring for them, but nothing bad. Maybe I need to go back and read the thread titles again. ::heads backs to re-read titles::
Posts: 1237 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
There have been some uncharacteristic flames flying around. However in terms of embarassing or something I would not want to discuss with my kids so far, smooth sailing.
Posts: 10950 | Registered: Oct 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I have found nothing at Nauvoo that I would not let my 14 yr old son read.
That said, his access to my computer (the only operating one in the house) is severely restricted, but that is more of a family time and his lousy grades thing then abuse. And because of Windows XP and the multiple accounts feature, he cannot get to my favorites list unless I give him access to it. Or he guesses the password. 3 letters. Hint: sheared.
Posts: 1003 | Registered: Nov 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
I agree that there are things discussed here on Nauvoo that are not appropriate for my ten and under children to read. However I simply disagree with the underlying premise that we should not read/view anything that is not appropriate for our children. We grow line upon line as do our children. What was innapropriate for us, or rather bad timing for us, ten years ago may be perfectly appropriate for us today. I'm certain that there are things that are not appropriate for me to discuss today that ten years from now I will be ready for.
We generally don't discuss quantum theory with 3 year olds. A good solid background in science is required in order to be able to grasp the concepts involved. It's the same with all things, imo.
As adults we are able and expected to pace ourselves appropriately, however as parents we are responsible to at least try to keep our children on the proper learning course. That may mean not allowing them to visit Nauvoo until they are older, or even until they leave our custody. That's perfectly fine. That doesn't mean, however, that Nauvoo is never appropriate for them or for us. In my opinion.
posted
I would not take issue with my son when he is that age coming here and reading what we have to say.
That said I have way too many favorites. I put them in different labled folders so I can keep track of them which really helps. I visit several different B.B.s, I have a ton of carepages that I visit to keep track of kids that I have "met" the parents of online, I have several blogs that I visit, and I have a bunch of generally funny and odd websites that I go to now and then. I also have Yahoo driving directions bookmarked.
BTW Pink Floyd I was never impressed with WebMD because when my son was sick in the NICU and I tried looking up his condition I got nothing. It was a huge dissapointment that they really had little on heart defects in general and nothing on his specific one at the time. I am not sure if things changed or not but they let me down in a time of great need and I just can not forgive that.
Posts: 635 | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Most of my bookmarks are political blogs. Frankly, I spend way too much time reading politics.
I apologize. I am not too bright or quick on the uptake, so I like to have things spelled out for me. I went to "Today's Active Topics" and couldn't find the threads or content that are making everyone uncomfortable. Could y'all be more specific?
Posts: 2993 | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote: I have found nothing at Nauvoo that I would not let my 14 yr old son read.
lissa2061 said:
quote: I would not take issue with my son when he is that age coming here and reading what we have to say.
efrum said:
quote:As adults we are able and expected to pace ourselves appropriately,
Ahh... There is the crux of my quandry, efrum. You have often been able to go right to the heart of my thoughts. Thank you. I guess you and I just have a different definition of "appropriate." Not that I'm right and you're wrong. It just isn't what I expect to find in a church centered forum. Cosmopolitan Magazine, maybe. Nauvoo, I'm disappointed.
FlyByNight said:
quote: However in terms of embarassing or something I would not want to discuss with my kids so far, smooth sailing.
Must be interesting dinner conversations at your house.
posted
On the otherhand, I'm reasonably confident that any question arising from a discussion here I can answer age appropriatly.
And since I grew up in the mission field (I think it was Pink that said he doesn't like that phrase, so that's a gentle poke in the ribs) I remember knowing lots of things that must have been inapropriate for a 9 year old (4th grade). If I'm understanding the implications and level of disclosure.
I'm trying for the life of me to remember when my public school first broached the topic of the birds & bees. I know it was before 7th, which means it was during elementary. Hmmm ... 4th or 5th, 4th or 5th, or was it 3rd? I just can't remember.
I'm sorry, PF, that you think that thread is not an appropriate topic of conversation for Mormons. One of the views expressed on that thread was that it is not helpful for people who are sincerely searching for answers from a gospel context to get the "we don't talk about that" answer. Where should people with those concerns go for gospel-context answers from other faithful members who may be struggling with the same important questions? (Don't say Elder's Quorum)
I mean, if you don't want to participate, don't. Don't read those, don't comment, don't click. What's so disappointing?
Posts: 2993 | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm pretty new to Nauvoo (this month, I think). I don't know what environment you've had in the past. I take my clues as to what is and is not appropriate from you people, and I've tried to reflect the sort of community-friendly-humor-soft-pitch posting style.
If you all want this place to be safe for a 10 year old, just let me know, and I'll do a minor tweak here and there to my posts. I must admit the two threads (now deleted) about married bedroom things took me a bit by surprise. I didn't know you Nauvoo-ites thought such things!
posted
Pink: I think you've raised legitimate concerns and you have every right to do so in behalf of your daughter. Here's my take.
As per Efrum:
quote: As adults we are able and expected to pace ourselves appropriately, however as parents we are responsible to at least try to keep our children on the proper learning course. That may mean not allowing them to visit Nauvoo until they are older, or even until they leave our custody. That's perfectly fine. That doesn't mean, however, that Nauvoo is never appropriate for them or for us. In my opinion.
I think that was very well put. My feeling is that nothing I've read since I've joined Nauvoo has strayed outside the bounds of propriety. We as adults do have the sexual side of our lives to contend with, where young people in the Church should not yet have to worry about that. A bishop several years ago gave me the analogy of our mortal lives having four quadrants: emotional, physical, spiritual and sexual. All four quadrants need to be in balance. If something is lacking, it needs to be added in and rebalance the equation. (Zeta-Flux, my apologies, I'm sure my math metaphors are horrendous.)
Adults simply have different situations to deal with than do teens.
I don't think it's a bad thing to speak of intimacy issues as long as care is taken with the language used and the topic introduced. I haven't seen much here that would raise prurient interest (except maybe Ketchupqueen's TMI -- just kidding). If we were all to submit salacious entries on just how, when, where, etc. our intimate lives were conducted with as much spurious detail as possible, then there would be a problem. But our moderators have allowed the posts on this board, and I trust them.
Frankly, I think a 14-year-old would over most of the stuff we discuss here except maybe over on the LDS Teens section.
I hope this makes sense, I'd sure like a little myself and intend to do so as soon as my lunch hour rolls around.
Incidentally, as far as my favorites list goes, I alphabetize mine. That way I can find things.
quote: But our moderators have allowed the posts on this board, and I trust them.
Yep, when your right, your right.
To answer PaddingtonBears question: What do I find disappointing? As I said before, either here or in an email to Kathryn. Nauvoo is changing, and perhaps passing me by. Look down the list of people who are posting. You don't see many around member number 275 any more. I wonder why that is? Perhaps it is just, as pointed out elsewhere, the topics get recycled and people get tired of it. I feel like my mom and dad when they lamented the passing of movie stars I had never heard of like Cary Grant: I miss greenfrog, VL, Lynn Truthseaker, Erin, Grasshopper, Mabuf, and so many more that you just don't see anymore. In those days, no one would think of posting the frequency of their marital relations and telling someone that "isn't up to standards" that perhaps they should think about getting divorced. At least not without getting lambasted, not joined in with.
And PaddingtonBear, I have taken you advice to heart. I haven't ventured into the thread about marrying someone with a same sex attraction. Same with the thread titled "sexy."
Of course the same can be said about the "Macro Evolution" thread, at least after the 100th post or so.
So for all of you who posted in the "Men frm Mars" thread about how often you have or don't have relations with your spouse, you can delete your posts, delete the whole threads, but you can't un-ring the bell. All I am asking is that you think for just a minute that this may be a (mostly) annonymous forum, but when you have threads designed to attract teenagers, you might just think for one minute before hitting the "reply" button.
Did that sound like a lecture from grandpa or what? "Back in my day...."
And yes, I did completly miss the irony, unless it has something to do with my screen name, again.
quote: A bishop several years ago gave me the analogy of our mortal lives having four quadrants: emotional, physical, spiritual and sexual.
I would have put "intellectual" in place of "sexual" and simply include "sexual" as one part of "physical". But that's just my unmarried celibate opinion. I have not ventured back into the bedroom thread because it was definitely TMI for me.
Posts: 4767 | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote: You don't see many around member number 275 any more. I wonder why that is?
Huh? I'm number 726 and I've been here almost 2 years. What exactly is the point of this comment? The newbies have driven away your buddies?
quote: In those days, no one would think of posting the frequency of their marital relations and telling someone that "isn't up to standards" that perhaps they should think about getting divorced
Well, you've made it clear that asking for help and advice about personal issues is unacceptable here at Nauvoo. Be sure and put that in the rules thread so newbies know not to ask for advice.
quote: when you have threads designed to attract teenagers,
Wait, designed? Which thread are designed to attract teenagers? Huh?
Maybe I'm still just a little unclear on what exactly the complaints are. Nauvoo isn't how I remember it? People are talking about things I don't want to talk about? Posts: 2993 | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Pink Floyd, I very much appreciate your position. In the interest of disclosure, most of the 'sex' threads I have just ignored. I think I posted a comment early on in one of them and I didn't find anything innapropriate at the time, but I just have not seen anything that I found interesting enough to follow in those threads. So there may be things that I would find offensive for me. That's one of the reasons I have been ignoring those threads. Self-determination and all that.
I also agree with you that Nauvoo is changing. In fact it has changed a lot since I joined. I don't have as low a number as you, but I've been around a while. I'm also not happy with many of the changes. Most of them have been recent (no offense to newbies ) and I've been avoiding the forum somewhat hoping that it would blow over, and posting just enough to keep active here. I miss many of the people you do also, and many that you didn't name. I even miss Jeffery. I think we had a really great sense of family here and we've lost it somewhat.
I'm not sure what we can do to get some of our old family members to come back. I know some of them are busy, and others have simply moved on to other areas of the net, or left altogether. I've considered leaving the forum myself, but decided to just spend less time here while still remaining active. If everyone leaves then how will we ever preserve any of what we had. Ultimately there is probably nothing we can do.
I do think that the new people add to this forum and what they have changed it into, for the most part, is not a bad thing. It's just not what we had. You and I and a few others will always miss "the good old days," but there are good days ahead. They're not the same, but they're probably not bad. The old days are probably gone. Yes, that makes me sad. But I hope that I will find something great to enjoy about the days ahead. If not, then I'll likely move on also.
All I can say is, I sincerely hope that you do not leave this forum. While you and I only know each other through this forum, I consider you to be a true friend. I hope to meet you in RL some day so that I can tell you personally how much I've appreciated your participation here. (Perhaps we should consider having a Nauvoo reunion of sorts.) Maybe all we are good for is sitting around drinking rootbeer and reliving the glory days. So be it. They were good.
I believe everything I posted earlier about content appropriateness and our personal responsibility for self direction here. I suspect that it's not really just the 'sex talk' that you are frustrated with, but rather the fact that you, like me, feel that a Nauvoo era has passed, and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Like I said, it's probably true.
I don't mean any of this post to be offensive to newbies here. I wish you all the best of luck here and have faith that whatever comes will be good. Just as long as you understand that there will always be people lamenting the lost past. We're mostly harmless. Just ignore us like you do your reminiscing grandparents.
quote: Must be interesting dinner conversations at your house.
Just noticed this.
Well, you're welcome to come over. Don't know if you'd want to stay. But, we behave ourselves around guests until they're our friends. And by then, they know that were a little hippie, a little crazy, and a whole lot of fun. Posts: 10950 | Registered: Oct 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
OK, I'm not part of the "inner circle" of old-timers here....but I feel a little sad that PF (and perhaps others) are put off by new people joining the forum. I have seen how difficult it is to be loved and accepted here, but still have enjoyed the discussion. I don't read every single thread (I do have a real life), so I guess I've missed the offensive ones. From what I have seen I wouldn't really be worried about my teenagers coming here. They are welcome to visit any sites I go to, although I doubt they'd want to Posts: 339 | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Please Ryansmama. Show me where I said I was put off by newcomers. Please also click on my profile and go to "recent posts." Find one where I was rude, tactless or otherwise mean to any newcomer, simply because they were new. Where have I told any newcomer to go away? Go through the "rules and regulations" thread where I suggest any rule for newcomers that shouldn't also apply to old timers.
In my first post here, I can see how you might think that I am implying (or is it inferring?) that I don't like "new blood" and wish things were they way they were when I joined. But all I am pointing out is that some long time people who used to post every day here no longer do, and wondered why. I admit I miss them. For example in the Terri Schiavo (sp?) threads, I have been waiting for greenfrog to join and explain some of the legal issues. I admit: I don't trust lawyers. But greenfrog is different. I know from his posts, to be fair and can explain things that a layperson like I am can understand, and from an LDS perspective. Where else can you get that? (Well, I suppose there are places, but I like greenfrog, even if I have been known to call him Grasshopper.)
I will admit that new comers annoy me sometimes. Especially when they jump in, put up like 15 new threads in an hours time, without ever having read anything here. Them folks, I ignore. But I am not alone in these obvious annoyances am I?
Like I have said, and Nicole has pointed out. It is Kathryn and Kristin's party and apparently things are going just fine for them for the most part. I guess my hope is that some of the old timers are just lurking about, as efrum has suggested (and thanks for the kind words, by the way,) and will pop back into the discussions. I really think that part of the old timers problem is that traffic at Nauvoo has multiplied exponentially over the last few months, and frankly it is just too hard to keep up with when you don't live here, and visit only occasionally. Hatrack it is becoming, in that sense. I left Hatrack long ago because I just couldn't keep up. There were times when 10 people would post to a thread while you were composing yours. In that sense, Hatrack is a lot more like instant messaging. And that is another new fangled thing I don't like. PICK UP A TELEPHONE, WILL YOU?
But nonetheless: If I have been or even appeared to have been rude to any newcomer (except obvious trolls), I am sorry. It is like the ward I have lived in now almost 20 years. We love to have new blood move in. Especially if they bring primary kids with them. I especially like the more "international" flavor that has appeared here suddenly. Sri Lanka? I had to go look it up on a map! And they bus people in for Relief Society Conferences? I can't imagine that. I especially admire those that are obviously posting using English as a second language. I could never do anything like that.
And PaddingtonBear: I don't know what I have done to tick you off, but I am sorry. I have never said not to ask help with personal issues. Just don't stop me in the foyer at church and ask me for help with your sex life when my 14 year old daughter is standing next to me. Please. You wouldn't do that at church would you? Why do it here? Even if Bishop Kathryn and Kristen say it is okay. Perhaps they were in a meeting and missed the foyer conversation. With the increased traffic here, I don't imagine they are able to police this place as well as they used to. Have a little common sense. That is all I am asking.
I have to quit. I just got a call, and they took Pink Klark to the emergency room. He may have meningitis. It is going around here. Please say a quick prayer. That is what Nauvoo is best for.
quote: I admit: I don't trust lawyers. But greenfrog is different. I know from his posts, to be fair and can explain things that a layperson like I am can understand, and from an LDS perspective. Where else can you get that?
Apparently not from Asael.
quote: You wouldn't do that at church would you? Why do it here?
Because you can't do it at church. Or anywhere else that I can think of -- without paying a therapist.
PF, I understand where you are coming from and respect your opinions. We disagree on what subjects should be discussed here, as I think it is appropriate to discuss mature issues -- although I think there should be a warning in the thread title.
However, I have found the overall tone of this place to be less pleasant than it was only five months ago. Not because of the issues being discussed, but because of the contentious tone. If that is part of your concern, I am completely with you on that point. In fact, several times I have decided to leave and never come back. (Yeah, I'm weak-willed, what can I say? )
That said, I realize that I sometimes have a tendency to respond in kind when I think people are being rude. So far all I know, I may be one of those who are driving you away. If so, I apologize.
FWIW, I consider you one of the most respected members of the forum and would miss your presence. In fact, I have missed your humor over the last few weeks.
posted
Hi all, I have been around for several years, posting every once in a while, but mostly lurking about, reading, learning, laughing and sometimes crying!!
I have to agree that the tone of the posts lately have been very disconcerting. On at least two different threads I have sat stunned at not necessarily the topic, but the bickering & ugliness. I have been shocked and appalled (no joke intended) at the contentious verbage used by some of the posters.
Also, the terms "flame-thrower" or "being flamed" was almost never heard on this forum, and now we have people afraid of being attacked for giving their opinions!!
Katherine, Oh Katherine, where for art thou Katherine???
Nola
[ March 26, 2005, 02:36 PM: Message edited by: Nola ]
Posts: 347 | Registered: Mar 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
Pink Klark is fine. Just a bad virus, severe dehydration and no meningitis. 6 hours and 2 bags of fluid later he is home. We're glad he is married to a nurse.
quote: Apparently not from Asael.
Sorry Asael, I have been following the thread on Terri Shaivo, and haven't noticed any of your comments on the legalities of the cases. Did I miss it? I will go back and check.
quote:Because you can't do it at church.
So why should you discuss such things in a public forum like Nauvoo? Especially one where you have sections devoted to teenagers?
I don't think it is so much the subject of the threads that bothers me, it is the way people approach it. Tendril14 offered some very nice comments in a very mature, and, well "classy" manner. (Unfortunatly the thread is gone, so you just have to take my word for it.) Many others, however, were not able to express themselves in the same mature manner. And to armchair therapy someone with the counsel to think about getting divorced when you don't even know these people, and are only hearing one side of a story, is well, frankly, potentially harmful, in my opinion.
But really, it is just part of the problem I see.
quote: We disagree on what subjects should be discussed here, as I think it is appropriate to discuss mature issues -- although I think there should be a warning in the thread title.
We do disagree. I think all a warning in the thread title does is say "Read this first." Perhaps a better idea would to be to title all sex discussions as "Macro Evolution thoughts." No one reads those.
posted
"I don't think it is so much the subject of the threads that bothers me, it is the way people approach it. Tendril14 offered some very nice comments in a very mature, and, well "classy" manner. (Unfortunatly the thread is gone, so you just have to take my word for it.) Many others, however, were not able to express themselves in the same mature manner. And to armchair therapy someone with the counsel to think about getting divorced when you don't even know these people, and are only hearing one side of a story, is well, frankly, potentially harmful, in my opinion."
quote:I also agree with you that Nauvoo is changing. In fact it has changed a lot since I joined. I don't have as low a number as you, but I've been around a while. I'm also not happy with many of the changes. Most of them have been recent (no offense to newbies ) and I've been avoiding the forum somewhat hoping that it would blow over, and posting just enough to keep active here...I think we had a really great sense of family here and we've lost it somewhat.
Me too. I keep wanting to just give up on Nauvoo. It has changed so much.
Kathryn told me once that she thought of Nauvoo as a virtual ward. For a lot of reaons it just isn't any more. And that's sad because it was unique.
I haven't been here that long but when I was housebound with my preemie, this place was important to me. You guys were who I got to talk to during the day.
Many of the new people are great, but Nauvoo did change. And not for the better.
Posts: 1451 | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |