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Author Topic: Anxiety
TheOne
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I am experiencing quite a bit of anxiety right now with regard to my likely job change and move to Dallas. I think of all that needs to be done with the house and the process of selling. I think about moving to a new area wondering if it is the right thing to do.

I told my current employer today that I had a job offer in Dallas and they are going to see what they can do to keep me here but I really don't know if it is possible and I really don't know if I should stay regardless.

I have prayed which helps calm myself down a bit but it is usually just temporary. I feel the anxiety no matter what direction my thinking is going in. I don't want to let it get in my way of making a needed change but it is quite powerful stuff. I'm moving foward and getting things done but it is difficult.

I've never experienced anything like this at this level. I'm sure part of it is my decision and move involves more than it ever has before. Our last move it was just our son as a toddler from a rental to a home we were buying. Now it is three kids, selling a home and finding another home to buy or rent in another place.

Oy! Is there really any way to get a handle on this?

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trooperswife
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I have no real words of wisdom, but I just wanted to sympathize with you. Major decisions cause anxiety, even if the decision may be a good one.
It's been 10 years since Trooper and I left the Army with 2 little children and no home, job, or solid idea of where we would end up. We just knew that we felt, after prayer and fasting, that it was a good course for us to take. We still were SO filled with fears of the unknown! Would he find a job in the chosen field? How long would it take? Should I work in the meantime, or live off of savings until he becomes employed? What about insurance? Etc.

So, just know that I feel for you and hope you find peace soon.

Good Luck!

Talitha

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rayb
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TO: (I got laid off weeks prior to 9/11 and boy! If you thought there's uncertainty now, try selling your house then. We had an open house and for three weeks NO ONE even called or dropped by... and talk about a shortage of jobs... yikes... the whole nation was holding its breath, and did so for a couple weeks... meanwhile I had no means to make ends meet and my wife was pregnant to boot... )

The only advice I can give you is that when you receive spiritual confirmation that things will be okay, BELIEVE THEM. Believe in the longterm, in the future... believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe, believe.

You will have doors opened for you. You will meet neat new friends. There will be many miracles. Just believe.

Cuz guess what? Whether you worry or stress about it, things happen when they happen, and when you are through it all, if you did faithfully believe, you won't feel ridiculous for all the spent energies worrying when it's all over.

What's the worst that could happen? If you die, faithful to God, you die in joy. You might lose some financial perks, but what are they in terms of your own soul?

Just believe...

--Ray

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maryozion
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I like to make lists to organize my anxiety. Organized anxiety is always better than nameless loose anxiety.

Also I highly recommend endorphins. A bit of exercise might help.

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rayb
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And nothing is better exercise than fixing up your house... [Smile]

--Ray

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todd
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Anxiety is a very underappreciated medical ailment; it's also typically treatable.

If your anxiety seems unmanageably strong, maybe you should see a doctor about it, see if he can give you some temporary medication, like a benzodiazepine, to help get you through it. Cognitive therapy, they say, also works well for anxiety, but I think that's more for chronic conditions.

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winnieg
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I have a Smooth moving package I would be happy to mail to you. I use to work for the army as a move coordinator.
I used it when I was the move coordinator for a base closing and 750 families moved under my care. I was lovingly called the “Nazi mother hen”.
If I walked up the driveway the moving company know it was not going to be a good day.

It covers every thing, what to expect from movers and closing down one home to open another, from utility’s school registration to how to pack and move plants.
I covered it all.
If you would like my smooth move package, I would be happy to mail it to you. I have a few left from the move gathering dust.
The move it self is believe it or not the big part it’s the decision to move that’s the hard part. I can help you with one at lest.

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PaddingtonBear
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Remember, they can't eat you.
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TheOne
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Thanks for the offer, winnieg. The biggest thing is selling our house and buying a new one. There is so much to do to get our house ready and I don't look forward to looking for one down in Dallas. The actual packing, moving, utility changes and everything won't be a problem.

Thanks to everyone else for the advise. I've had minor periods of anxiety in the past but nothing like this. Yesterday has been the worst so far. I'll see how today goes.

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Redd
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If you move, put the essentials of life in a medium sized box and label the out side of the box with the contents:

Toilet paper
can opener
asprin/headache stuff
band aids
scriptures
some cups/bowls/plates etc

Bottom line, if you know where the TP is, you will be fine. [Big Grin]

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Tyro
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TheOne, I don't have any good advice or wisdom, but I did want to wish you luck and to tell you I'd send up a few prayers for you and your family that all will be well. I know it's traumatic to make major changes, but, as they say, "this, too, shall pass."

[Smile]
Tyro

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timmie59
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TheOne,
I think you have some great advice here. I will just add one little thing, the definition of courage is not the absence of fear but rather doing what is right in spite of the fear. [Smile]

Good luck to you!

Tim

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LynnTruthseeker
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A lot of us have been through similar situations. When I left Virginia Beach less than three years ago, I came to a tiny, rural town in Arkansas, where my closest neighbors were horses and cows, and the town becomes a ghost town at 10 PM. I pondered and prayed about coming here, and it felt right, but I still had bouts of doubts and anxiety, because, even though I was coming with my daughter and her family, I was leaving my home, my parents, my sisters and my sons, as well as my ward family. I didn't have a clue why I was coming here, or what would happen. As it turned out, I was very much needed here to help my daughter through a very difficult time in her life, and I was blessed in so many ways. It's been a real growing time for me, too. I was blessed with the best job I've had in years, and with new friends at church (in two wards), and with a calling I loved, as a ward missionary. Things really have turned out for the best.

Of course, I have had my share of trials and tribulations, but, my testimony has grown so much since I got here. I definitely can see the hand of the Lord in what has happened.

It's normal to feel stress and anxiety over such a huge transition, and, let's face it, major change never is very comfortable, but it can be so good, too. Trust the Lord. He's in control, even when we mortals are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. [Smile]

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nitasmile
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Brother the One: here is one of my favorite quotes that I discovered on a bumper sticker on a car in a Wal-Mart parking lot. This occured when I lived in FL, during grad school. It occurred in the midst of a move in which many things went wrong despite my perfect planning:


"People plan
God laughs [ROFL] [Big laugh]
Just wing it!"

The story was funny as I was moving from one apt to another. I planned the move during the semester break, it was to be a relaxed move at my own pace, no rushing.

How it turned out:
~12 or so people in the ward had offered their help, but self-reliant and stupid me declined and instead planned for movers. Who never came and then lied about it.. so I ended up moving almost everything myself in my car. And ended up having to pay 300$ for the movers to move just a few items of heavy furniture.

~And also the new apt wasn't ready, so they had me wait a couple days and gave another apt that looked lovely. However, once I moved in I discovered it had dead roaches in the kitchen. So even after cleaning thorougly, I never could really use that kitchen the whole 9 months I lived there. (edit: as the mere thought disgusted me)

~My old landlady was mad at me for still being in the apt during the couple extra days until the new apt was ready (even though I had payed through the end of the month)

~I was paying for 3 phones though had no working phone. (ie my old phone, the new phone in the apt that wasn't ready and the phone in the apt that should have been ready but wasn't.) In fact, that is why I saw that bumper sticker. I had gone to Wal-Mart to use the phone to try to call the mover, as I had no phone!

~ and when the new movers finally came a few days later, I ended up having to miss part of my first day of classes, my w hole reason for being in FL in the first place.

Thus you can see why I loved that quote of God laughing when we plan!!! [Big laugh] [Big laugh]

~Oh the icing on the cake was after I got all the dead roaches cleaned, and finally settled in, I had to repack: why? I had to evacutate a few days for Hurricane Floyd!!!

Well I wish you the best.

You and your wife might consider joining a "yahoo group" for the new community, that could give you a heads up in some of your planning. Maybe if you call the ward you could get a good idea of some of the schools, etc as well.

When I was a RS secretary, a lady from New England who was moving into the ward called our RS pres to find out about potential piano teachers and schools. I think it is good that we have an established church family to help in these areas of worry.

Good luck and I hope your plans all work out. But if one or two things, go wrong, just remember God laughs! [Smile]

EDIT: I didn't mean to discount your anxiety. As I am a person who also deals w/being anxious and worries a lot, I know what you mean. Have faith, do your best and you and your family will be fine.

"if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear"

[ April 26, 2006, 11:37 PM: Message edited by: nitasmile ]

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nitasmile
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Troopers wife mentionned prayer and fasting. perhaps you and your wife could do this together and maybe even get a blessing? Perhaps that might help in making your decision about whether or not to move. My major life decisions/moves have too often been made to some extent, in a very impulsive manner. While I did do ongoing prayer about some decisions, and while things work out, I think it is good when people do take that essential prepatory time of prayer, fasting, and getting priesthood blessings as needed.
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TheOne
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April 25, the date of my first post was a horrible day for me. The anxiety was overpowering. I went to bed with a great amount of dread. As I stated later, I had never experienced anything like it before.

The next day was better. After much prayer, fasting and a blessing I am much improved. I also credit that improvement to the prayers of others. Thank you all!

I'm not done yet. I'm heading to Dallas towards the end of the month unless in the next couple of days my current employer realizes my worth and increases my pay accordingly. The anxiety is still hanging around but it is manageable. I almost prefer to go to Dallas for the sake of change.

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rayb
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The powers of fear are real, but in the deepest dark despair there is ALWAYS Hope. Remember this... (which is what we read for FHE last night, instead of making the kids do yardwork. [Smile] )

quote:

15 After I had retired to the place where I had previously designed to go, having looked around me, and finding myself alone, I kneeled down and began to offer up the desires of my heart to God. I had scarcely done so, when immediately I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak. Thick darkness gathered around me, and it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction.

16 But, exerting all my powers to call upon God to deliver me out of the power of this enemy which had seized upon me, and at the very moment when I was ready to sink into despair and abandon myself to destruction—not to an imaginary ruin, but to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being—just at this moment of great alarm, I saw a pillar of light exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me.

17 It no sooner appeared than I found myself delivered from the enemy which held me bound. When the light rested upon me I saw two Personages, whose brightness and glory defy all description, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name and said, pointing to the other—This is My Beloved Son. Hear Him!

God is Greater.

--Ray

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