posted
While at Church yesterday, I was confronted by noise everywhere I turned, it seemed.
In SS, there was a father with his son, about 10 months old. He is very active and was squirming in his dad's arms and making alot of fussy noises. When he set him down, he wandered a bit, but was quiet. At the end of the lesson, the teacher had to speak a little louder to be heard, and I could tell he was a little distracted at moments (and he has a daughter a couple months older, so he is used to children). I was distracted, as well, and not happy about it because our SS teacher is really, really good and I basically stay focused on his every word.
In RS, I sat next to a friend who was taking care of the teacher's 6 month old. He was ADORABLE but became fussy toward the end. I encouraged her to take cute but loud baby out, but she wanted to listen to lesson. I offered to take him out, but she said he was fine. I spent half the lesson trying to keep him entertained so he would stay relatively quiet. He was better but I didn't get much out of lesson.
Then, after our ward was let out, and the second ward of the day was in Sacrament Meeting, the noise in the hallways was horrific! I was embarrassed. Even the older bretheren were practically yelling at each other with jokes and "tell so and so I said 'hi' and ask him how his wife and kids are..." I was going to the Clerk's office to make an appointment. It was like a swarm of bees....buzzing here and buzzing there...
After coming home and complaining to DH (FBN), he had the suggestion that the Church put up one of those signs that you see outside sound studios:
Big red neon, SACRAMENT IN SESSION
Maybe that will get people's attention and help them stay more reverant!
When my children were with me in meetings, I took them out when they were fussy or making too much noise. I think that is just ocnsiderate.
Before they order it, they should check the spelling: SACRAMENT IN SESSION
Actually, I'm in favor of them bringing back cryrooms with a glass looking into the chapel, soundproof walls, and a speaker that pipes in the podium microphone.
Posts: 3371 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Our stake is going through a bit of a noise revolution right now, and here is the cause: No overflow.
We have these huge wards, bursting at the seams, and the SP has decided that the overflows need to be closed so everyone has to sit in the "chapel proper."
So, now, instead of having easy exit access for families who feel they need that, we have all the kids up front in the chapel. But, maybe we need that, so people can start to make an effort toward keeping them quiet. It was apparent in the overflow that no one really made any effort to keep them quiet, because they could just rush out to the foyer.
And while sitting in the foyer, one can hardly hear the speaker, because it's a full-fledged, yell across the foyer chatfest out there.
When the other ward lets out, you can hear the din, even with the chapel doors closed. It should be unnecessary, but we really should put up a sign on an easel "Sacrament Meeting in Session, please be quiet."
And maybe encourage wards who are leaving to exit toward the rear of the building?
posted
Y'all just need to move out to the "mission" field where only one unit meets in a building and the overflow is closed because there ain't enough people to fill the chapel.
Posts: 999 | Registered: Nov 2002
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Just run the strip along the back of the pews. You can plug in your headset just like you would on an airplane. My ward is the newly wed and nearly dead, so we have about 65% elderly who are hard of hearing. When we have a traveling microphone for testimony meeting, half the meeting is from the pews beause the journey to pulpit is too much for them.
Posts: 1378 | Registered: Oct 2006
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Yesterday in my ward, as in probably dozens of other wards, a cell phone rang in Sacrament meeting. It wasn't just your everyday irritating ring, but an annoying stupid melody that went on & on before the person finally got to it. And did they learn from the experience? Ha ha....the same phone went off again in Sunday School--during the prayer. And again it went for maybe 15 seconds, practically drowning out the prayer for those sitting near the phone. Talk about inviting the Spirit to go dwell somewhere else....
We can't always calm kids down, & some common sense is needed in where parents sit & when to take babies outside. I have a fairly high tolerance for babies crying because that's natural. But kids old enough to know better (baptismal age & still playing with toy cars in the chapel?), or "adults" who let their cell phones ring, are a different matter. Silencing it when entering any gathering of people, but especially church, ought to be a no-brainer for anyone with a brain.
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quote:some common sense is needed in where parents sit
<cringe> We sit up front. Don't want the kids distracted by what goes on in front of them. I'm afraid we are a bit of a distracting force from time to time for those behind us, though. I really do try to take them out when they're too loud.
quote:Silencing it [a cell phone] when entering any gathering of people, but especially church, ought to be a no-brainer for anyone with a brain.
My cell phone rings so infrequently I honestly don't even think about having one. I'm the one who never remembers to turn off the phone until I hear someone else's ring.
I've been thinking for several years now that we need a standard "please silence your cell phones" announcement at the beginning of every Sacrament meeting. I like the idea of a big easel with "Sacrament Meeting in session" on it. Maybe right in the middle of the foyer so people have to walk around it.
Posts: 5841 | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
I think that noisy meetings are a universal problem! From personal experience I had to decide that if I got anything out of lessons/Sacrament meeting, then it would be a bonus as I would always take my children out if they were consistantly noisy. We had a bishop who made it very clear that we were welcome to come in and out of Sacrament as many times as it took to get them quiet. I know that stopped a lot of guilt for me, as I didn't want to take a child out at the beginning of the meeting, then be out for the whole of the meeting once noisy child had settled down.
We all WANT to get something out of the meetings, but when we have young children we have to learn to strike a balance.
Not too sure what to do about the ADULTS who talk and make mischief all through Sacrament. We have one such sister who does this then goes on to complain that it's not this noisy at the Catholic Church!! (Yes, we have to bite our tongues!!)
Posts: 291 | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
My kid screams in church. I try to encourage my children to be reverent. Though honestly, if I take the child out, all they see is parents who are too tired to actually hold their children, and kids wandering the halls. And that really bugs me, I'd rather have my kid screaming his lungs off in the meeting than have him sitting in the hall watching all the kids commence with Nursery right there in the overflow and hallway areas.
posted
quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- some common sense is needed in where parents sit -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <cringe>
I don't see any reason for you to cringe. I don't see a lack of common sense in what you do. You are responding to our kids' needs & you aren't being insensitive to the people around you, because you do recognize your kids need to get up sometimes. You don't let them scream on & on without taking them out. That sounds like common sense in action.
No common sense would be when people who might need to move around give no thought (habitually) to where they sit & the impact they could have on others. For instance, if I knew I had a serious incontinent problem but always made myself comfortable in the middle of the pew in the part of the chapel farthest from the exit, knowing I would have to disrupt half the congregation in the middle of the first speaker, I wouldn't be exercising much common sense.
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posted
Ray has a point. I let my kids play with quiet toys or crayons starting after teh sacrement was passed and the AP went to thier parenty I had to train myself to go out and not interact with the others. It is hard.
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posted
By the Way, if your think living with a screaming toddler is hard....try dealing with a screaming teen. My DD#2 taxed my patience, and the patience of all the ward members.
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quote: My kid screams in church. I try to encourage my children to be reverent. Though honestly, if I take the child out, all they see is parents who are too tired to actually hold their children, and kids wandering the halls. And that really bugs me, I'd rather have my kid screaming his lungs off in the meeting than have him sitting in the hall watching all the kids commence with Nursery right there in the overflow and hallway areas.
--Ray
I think there is nothing wrong with removing a child in order to enhance the reverance for others. When I have had to take my kids out, we definately had an instant father/daughter/son interview, which they soon learned was significantly less desireable than being quiet in Sacrament.
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quote: I'd rather have my kid screaming his lungs off in the meeting than have him sitting in the hall watching all the kids commence with Nursery right there in the overflow and hallway areas.
Yes. But would the people sitting next to you?
We are really sticklers about Sacrament Meeting. No toys. No crayons. No story books. Lots of cuddles and all the scriptures they want. I have rarely take a kid out (except for when they were little babies). But when they get taken out, all priviledges for that week are over.
I have six kids and I do understand how tough it can be. But I have no patience with parents who let their kids scream or carry on it what is supposed to be a reverent, holy meeting if only because it makes it very hard for me to teach appropriate behavior to my kids.
quote: I'd rather have my kid screaming his lungs off in the meeting than have him sitting in the hall watching all the kids commence with Nursery right there in the overflow and hallway areas.
Yeah, what Gracie said. Our bishop had to have a talk on a combined Sunday, because we have a pretty young ward and TONS of kids. I thought he said it perfectly, that we understand you want to stay and listen, but sometimes if you do, it means everyone else who stays, CAN'T listen. I understand. My youngest right now is 2, and she goes nuts about 20 minutes before the end of the meeting (it's like she has a watch or something). I realize it's my responsibility to suck it up, and take her out, rather than make everyone else deal with it.
Of course, the bishop went on to say, now, once you're out in the hall, that doesn't mean it's super happy fun time, you need to quiet the child and come back in as soon as they are calm. Which prompted me to remember my last ward, where I would have loved to have done that, but there was never any seating in the foyer, the 15 year olds having assumed it all. That's maybe another thread.
I believe it was Grasshopper who used to call those "The Apostasy Years" when your kids are young and you are in the hall with them all the time.
Posts: 2973 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
Good point about teaching your kids to sit in the pews, so I guess I'll just choose a seat far away from such folks... I do talk with the folks around us, and try to see if the kid (usually it's the baby) is bothersome.
We've been very fortunate to have caring "empty-nesters" who do more than just scowl at our children when they're having trouble being reverent. They actually will hold the children, one fellow even brings a different book for my kids to look at, and has sorta become an adopted grandparent.
It's a great thing to learn that your ward family has empathy for you.
I think it's a terrible lesson to teach your kids to get up and walk in and out of the meeting house, whenever you get bored and start throwing a fit... we have pretty strict rules about things like potty breaks, for example. We go before the meeting and between meeting breaks, unless Mom's feeling merciful. (Dad's mean.) My older kids do pretty well, and when they see a crying baby they don't tend to struggle with reverence themselves, because they're no longer babies... and they're happy not to be babies. Though they may want to play with the baby.
On those occasions when I do take the baby out, I hold him on my lap. I also go and crank up the speaker, which I find often is turned down really low, so as to not disturb the party that's going on in the halls... or the other wards who are having a party between classes...
The last time I actually took the baby out I had to ask the kids in the foyer to either sit down or find their parent, because they didn't have either, and were just playing in the hall... I don't know why, really... but it was very difficult to hold the baby when they were playing ball...
I could see my kid thinking... "So the foyer's a place for soccer!"
Another problem with taking the kid out is that IF you are needed during the sacrament meeting by any of your other children, they either go wandering out to find you, which means you have to try to get all of them to sit quietly in the foyer while the soccer game is going on... or they bug my wife to death. And so all the while she's getting more and more furious because I'm not helping her with the new child's problems, cuz I'm out in the stupid foyer.
My wife loves the mother's lounge, but she hates the fact that half the kids want to go with her when she takes a baby there...
posted
I know alot of members/families have 'their pews' but I tend to rotate as my one son can get quite vocal (he's special needs), we are constantly reminding him to whisper. If anyone does come and sit on a pew next to us I explain that we will try to keep our children quiet but the member get an in-depth lesson about sharks, so they have the option to move. I like to sit at the back with a pew to ourselves so that we can make a quick getaway when needed!
It's taken many years to be able to sit all through the Sacrament meeting with relatively quiet boys. I'm normally so busy trying to keep my boys quiet that I don't notice others making any noise!! I do allow mine to have books, paper and crayons.
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posted
I agree. I think if the children are to be taught to be quiet in sacrament, then they need to learn that going out in the hallway means being held in mom/dad's arms until they quiet down. Otherwise, they have fits *just* to get out into the hallway.
At least that is the way we taught our kids to settle down. Going out into the hallway was BORING compared to quietly playing in the pew. Our DD is very fidgety during sacrament, but she does not want to go out to the hallway.
Here is another question...
What toys/books/ideas do you use to keep your kids entertained, and at what age do you think they should be expected to just sit and listen?
Posts: 55 | Registered: Apr 2005
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posted
For mine, I take a wad of paper,scissors, pencils and a few books. I guess it does resemble a craft session, but it really does keep my ASD child quiet!! (And, yes, we do tidy up our mess afterwards). Sam (5) loves to read the same book every week, about Anthony Ant. He will also follow the words along when we're singing the hymns. Also, now that Daddy is back at Church he likes to cuddle up on Daddy's knee.
I've not thought about ages yet. I just tend to go from Sunday to Sunday.
I'm sure there are members here who will have far better suggestions than I am able to give.
Posts: 291 | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
This is so funny to find this thread. We visited another church this past Sunday. Right before the meeting started a frisbee was thrown from the side of the chapel into the middle of a center pew. Hubby leaned over and said now you have a story for Nauvoo. The culprit was a little boy who was brought by his mother. She was alone and wrestling with two wiggly boys. My heart really went out to her because I couldn't see how she was getting anything out of the meeting. I was touched to watch the elderly couple take out the older boy when he wouldn't be quiet. It was a great example of helping each other out to preserve reverence in the chapel.
I have seen a sign outside a chapel "Your Reverence in the chapel is appreciated". It is a nice reminder when you are in the building there is a Sacrament meeting going on.
By the way since we were traveling my "priesthood" were not dressed in their white shirts. They were glad they were able to blend into the congregation.
Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2007
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posted
aehmom: I think it's jana that can tell you a story about ward members throwing a dirty diaper around the chapel... and this was not the fault of a kid...
I agree if there's only one parent to watch all the kids, it gets doubly difficult to take a child out.
quote: Y'all just need to move out to the "mission" field where only one unit meets in a building and the overflow is closed because there ain't enough people to fill the chapel.
Speak for yourself. I live in the "mission" field, and we have two full-fledged wards, plus a Hispanic branch, all meeting in the same building. We do keep the overflow open, and sometimes that is about full, too.
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So do we, and at least one other larger family does to. But, for the most part our kids are quiet (though not motionless ).
When I grew up, my parents started us on quiet activities (drawing, thou I do recall that the texture of the old hymn books and also the bench combined with the right pen made a wonderfully annoying hum). And then later switched us to just sitting and listening. That was the phase when I really didn't enjoy church.
Because of my experience I'm hoping that all I'll ever need to do is encourage my kids to listen. That may mean that we'll need to let them read when they're older. But, we'll see.
It's important to me that my kids want to come to church, and that they also respect the others in the chapel. I'm hoping that by introducing them to scripture reading at a much younger age then I was, that they'll be able to enjoy reading them at an earlier age. I think half the battle with enjoying to read the scriptures is getting used to the language.
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