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» Nauvoo Forum » Nauvoo Classic Forum » General Discussions » When people sort of boast

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Author Topic: When people sort of boast
nitasmile
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What is an appropriate response when people boast, ie of their salary/benefits,etc in an inappropriate (to me)manner?
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ketchupqueen
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Ignore them. Change the subject. It's rude but it's one of the situations where it's often ruder to correct the behavior that is rude.
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palmon
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say "congratulations" and change the topic
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Jason
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It would be like me mentioning my future salary as an anesthesiologist, just totally inappropriate.

[ January 16, 2009, 12:52 AM: Message edited by: Jason ]

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Valjean
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One-up them. "I sympathize, but if you'd just try a little harder ..."

More seriously, boasting about such things, at least in our culture, suggests that there are a few shingles missing from the roof. Insecurity, megalomania, cupidity ... lots of possible explanations. Since few of us are trained psychologists capable of treating someone like this, the best thing is to dodge, like ketchupqueen and palmon suggested.

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GishFarm
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I don't think mentioning a future possibly salary is inappropriate. That's just pure speculation (ok maybe an educated guess).

I have many associates who I discuss finances with. A few of those discussion do include salaries.

It is never appropriate to be boasting, but I would just be sure of their motivations before you reprimand them.

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Josh
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Had home teachers say to me once after I told them of my first job in 6 months that they would not get out of bed for the money that I was being offered. I kindly asked them to leave. At least one apologised.
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cana243
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Thats so trashy... I guess I give off the appearance or play the role that I don't have very much money, cause I have had several people (at church) say things like- well, I understand if you can't afford it, etc. I think its because they think I "have" to work rather than enjoy working.

So I would say- oh, thats surprising, I didn't think you made that much....

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JennaDean
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... "cupiditiy"?
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FlyByNight
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cupidity
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beefche
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quote:
What is an appropriate response when people boast, ie of their salary/benefits,etc in an inappropriate (to me)manner?
"That's all you're getting?"
"What about Friday goof off day? Do you get one of those too?"
"Yeah, I hear ya. I can't wait for the 1st Monday of each month when I get my monthly raise."
"Do you feel better?"
"Well good for you to mingle with lowly ol' me."

Yep, those responses sound just as rude. Better to listen to the wise folks who have posted before me.

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trooperswife
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"That is AWESOME! GOOD for You!!"

And the biggest smile you can give them.

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EDGJanitor
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TW took my answer. That's awesome, good for her.
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Pink Floyd
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I guess I'm more selfish.

"That's Awesome! Good for you! You get to take me to lunch after you get your first paycheck to celebrate!"


sigh.

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EDGJanitor
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Oooh. PF's answer is pure genius. I am now stealing that one.
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FlyByNight
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I don't really have this problem, perhaps it's because I am thoroughly and completely unimpressed by an others good fortune. Sure I'm happy for them, but I usually don't respond they way a braggart would want me to respond. So, since they can't derive that false sense of self admiration from me, they just leave me alone.
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Valjean
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Pink:

quote:

We'll raise a glass and sip a drop of schnapps
In honour of the great good luck that favoured you
We know that when good fortune favours two such men
It stands to reason we deserve it too

Your version is more succinct, of course. And nonalcoholic.
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Jen
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How about bragging about things other than money? Like a family member that constantly reminds us how humble and pure-intentioned they are. . .

[ January 16, 2009, 01:31 PM: Message edited by: Jen ]

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FlyByNight
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quote:
Like a family member that constantly reminds us how humble and pure-intentioned they are.
[With quizzical look on face] ... and your telling me this because ... ?
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Raro
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I figure we all have our crutches, and some people rely on bragging as a crutch to make themselves feel better. So if they want attention, what's the big deal in giving it to them? Getting attention that way is extremely fleeting, so a lot of people feel they have to do it a lot to get the attention they want.

It's normal to feel that they're putting you down by putting themself up, but usually they are so focused on impressing you that they have no real understanding that they're being tactless. I would only respond in a negative way if they actually insulted me.

I tend to be totally unimpressed by bragging about money, since I've never had any to speak of. But then, I chose my profession, didn't I? [Big Grin]

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Valjean
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If I knew I was never going to see the boaster again, I suppose the right thing would usually be to stroke his delicate ego and make him feel a bit better about himself for a few minutes.

But usually you will see the boaster again. And, having rewarded him once, you'll never hear the end of it from him again. I'd prefer not to be an ego-codependent.

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rayb
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I overhear a lot of talk of salaries where I work. I am always surprised by the numbers. Most people, no matter what they get, think they should be paid more. I think if someone were boasting about how much they got, I'd be inclined to congratulate them and make verbal note of how lucky they should feel because being content with one's pay is a rarity.

--Ray

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Cindytee
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My daughter had an ex-sister-in-law who played that game. Her house was bigger. Her car was fancier. Her husband made more money. She tried to turn every conversation into a contest that she, of course, had to win. Here's what I taught my daughter to do:

Don't compete! When she raves about her house, agree with her: "You're so blessed to have a lovely home. I especially like the dining room. How nice that you're able to host the whole family!"

When it's about the car, "You're so blessed with a comfortable car. I really like the color too."

When it's about money, "You're so blessed to have such a comfortable income at a time when so many others are losing their jobs. How wonderful that you're in a position to be able to help so many people."

I love the "you're so blessed..." line because it reminds them that their whateveritis is a gift from God. And agreeing with them takes the competition out of it.

I've used this method on several people who constantly boast about one thing or another and I'm not sure whether it cures them or just makes them go "compete" with someone else. Either way, they stop trying to compete with me! [Smile]

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pnr
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How about, "If the saying, where much is given, much is required is true, aren't you a little worried?"

Or maybe

"Are you sure you want to say that outloud where the person who said "where much is given, much is expected" might hear you?"

[ January 16, 2009, 07:17 PM: Message edited by: pnr ]

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Josh
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I like a lot of the approaches here - but sometimes I think gee I'd love to say to them. Hmmm what a pity you dont use that to help the less fortunate, somehow I don think there is any banks in Zion.

Probably get bad marks for that but it makes me steamed. Especially when its a rich movie star asking you to give money to a organisation, an organisation whos budget is 1/2rd what the celebrity just paid for their 4th mansion.


GRRRRRR [Mad]

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