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"The Invisible Wall," by Harry Bernstein. He is a Jewish boy growing up in a steel mill town in Lancashire, England before & during WWI. Jews & Christians live on opposite sides of the street, & they do essential business with each other but seldom socialize or get together except for the most urgent reasons.
Harry & his sibs have mostly Christian schoolmates, who often taunt or bully them. One Gentile neighbor is a top student who sticks up for them, & volunteers to coach Harry's sister Lily on her scholarship exams. They are maybe 14, & they fall in love, to the conternation of the parents. Since this is Harry's story, we have his POV more than the Christians', & he says that according to tradition, if someone marries a goy (Yiddish for non-Jew), they are from then on considered dead to their family.
The young people continue courting for several years, defying the parents' displeasure. WWI begins, boys from the street go to war, & the tragic news of combat deaths begins to come back. This is one of the few things that unites the Christians & Jews. Meanwhile, a new rabbi arrives, a young bachelor. The mothers of eligible daughters are all agog, but he is interested in Lily, to her mother's delight. Lily, OTOH, is still enmeshed in her romance with the Christian boy across the street.
I won't give away the rest of the story. Mr. Bernstein follows it all the way to his own emigration to America, & WWII, & he tells us what becomes of his family members. He says interfaith marriage is more common now & he feels that is a good thing, which not everyone, of various religions, may agree with. But he does make the valid point that the more we all get to know people of different religions, the more we can promote harmony in the world.
Posts: 12824 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Battle Hymn Of The Tiger Mother - After hearing about this book last year and the controversy it raised, I finally decided to take a look. Basically the author demonstrates how she raised her two daughters the Chinese way. She not only pushed them beyond their limits, but she forbade any activities she deemed a wasted of time and talent (Such as, sleepovers, class plays, and play dates). While I thought many of her methods seemed pretty extreme, she did raise a few good points about letting your child waste their time on things that won't benefit them for the future and making sure they do their best.
Posts: 59 | Registered: Oct 2011
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I really want to read that. I've compared book reviews of it to what I remember seeing in my best friend's house while we were growing up. Let's just say some of it I saw, but her mother wasn't quite as much a tiger mother as the book...we did have sleepovers.
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I live in the S.F. Bay Area, which as you know has a huge population of Asians & Americans of Asian descent. I have Asian ancestry. So I can share the slang "Asian F," which means A-minus. I can also tell you that for many folks, their nightmare is their kid "having to" go to a community college.
I know some of these "tiger moms," & TTTT, the whole picture is sometimes not pretty. When the moms (or dads) devote all their time & energy for 18 years (& that of their kids) to being sure their offspring are ready when the times comes for Stanford, MIT, or Yale, something has to fall by the wayside. Unfortunately, that something is often childhood itself.
Kids who don't lead well-rounded lives in their youth often grow up having no idea how to be well-rounded people later. Kids who are kept out of team sports, drama, orchestra, or student government often don't develop the ability to work with other people toward a common purpose. Kids who are encouraged to participate in the newspaper, band, debate, or cheerleading learn to do their best, appreciate other people's efforts, & handle success, lesser success, & occasional flops. Kids who have play dates & sleepovers learn how to share & solve disagreements agreeably. It's tougher to learn leadership, communication, cooperation, & problem-solving if you have only yourself to learn & practice with.
In our stake & the next one over, we have parents who don't let their kids go to Mutual during the school year, or strictly limit attendance, so they can keep their noses to the grindstone. So they aren't only missing out on a chance to play the clarinet or hit a home run, but also on the fellowship of great young people.
This matter of learning to live & work with others is one of the big faults I see in the tiger mom attitude. Parents want their children to succeed, & that is not intrinsically bad. But opportunities to take part in group activities, be part of a community, or just socialize & have a good time, are part of growing up & living in a world populated by humans other than our own one individual self. Not to mention, everyone needs some down time, & down time is not automatically a synonym for wasted time.
Posts: 12824 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote: Kids who are kept out of team sports, drama, orchestra, or student government often don't develop the ability to work with other people toward a common purpose.
Seems to me that there have been generations of children brought up without any of that who have turned out to be great people and leaders. I'm not disagreeing with you about the benefits of all the programs and activities that you listed in your post - just the statement that without these, childhood is doomed. If the parents have the time, inclination and resources they can be great experiences but life happiness and success is not determined by them.
(Gets up, brushes self off) Probably not. But hopefully, it will be a pretty kickin' movie this Fall.
Posts: 3862 | Registered: Jul 2001
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I recently read Allergic Girl: Adventures in Living Well with Food Allergies. Very readable, it helped me be a bit more emphatic when the family eats out, and gracious. Miller also helps run a group called Worry-Free Meals in NYC. I almost wish I could live in one place long enough to try that wherever we may land. Sometimes, eating out when a family member has food allergies is really really tough.
Posts: 3862 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Best non-fiction I've read in the last few months are:
1) "The Memory Palace" by Mira Bartok - a memoir about a girl's growing up years with a mom who had Alzheimer's, very compassionate and non-bitter, similar to "The Glass Castle."
2)"Flunking Sainthood" by Jana Reiss - Jana tried to incorporate 12 spiritual practices in her life in a year, and reports on her "failures." She provides a fascinating perspective; reading through it I began to wonder if she was LDS, turns out she is an adult convert who had degrees from religous seminaries before she joined the church, so it was interesting to see her try practices that are part of the larger Christian experience but typically aren't things we do in the Church. Really really liked this
3)"Following Ezra: What One Father Learned about Gumby, Otters, Autism and Love from His Extraordinary Son" by Tom Fields-Meyer. Lovely and poignant. The highlight is the end of the book where Tom talks about Ezra's Bar Mitzvah. Very moving.
4) "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't stop Talking" by Susan Cain. My favorite non-fiction book this year thus far. Lots of research but very readable, fascinating if you or someone you know is an introvert. Seriously worth checking out.
Posts: 1901 | Registered: Mar 2007
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I finally finished The Amish Way: Patient Faith in a Perilous World by Donald B. Kraybill, Steven M. Nolt & David L. Weaver-Zercher, and want to shout from the rooftops how much I loved it. Most of what I knew about the Amish came from either Witness or an old RS Enrichment night. These gentlemen wrote the earlier book Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy, about the Nickel Mines shooting, and this book delves much more into the beliefs and practices and community of the Amish. It clears up misconceptions, and offers explanations that I, as a Latter-day Saint, understood. Much of their reasoning for living the way they do is familiar, although we go about it in different ways. I'd always respected the Amish, but after reading this, I admire them even more.
Posts: 3862 | Registered: Jul 2001
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I am currently reading "Out Of The Killing Fields, Into The Light". It's hard to imagine what it felt like to suffer like the people in these stories.
Posts: 59 | Registered: Oct 2011
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Rosa Maria: you might like this book, it is a fictionalized story based on a real person and her family who live in a garbage dump in Cambodia. It is a deeply moving and inspiring book. I will have to read the one you mention as well. http://www.therentcollectorbook.com/about.htm
Dianoia, I am also reading that book about introverts..I started but need to finish!
CrowGirl- I've read several fiction books about the Amish, will have to someday read the book you mention..hopefully within the next couple months I will go visit Amish country! So shameful I live so close and haven't visited!
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Undaunted Courage a biography of Meriwether Lewis. I've always been fascinated by the Lewis and Clark Expedition. Undaunted Courage is mostly about the expedition taken from Lewis' standpoint when possible but often gaps are filled in from other sources. Of course, some information is included about his early life and life after the expedition. The book mentions the belief that he may have been suffering from manic depression which may have contributed to his supposed suicide. I'm a little disappointed the book didn't delve into the suicide/murder debate more (but not extensively).
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Visions of Victory: The Hopes of Eight World War II Leaders Gerhard Weinberg
A fascinating look into the minds of eight top World War II leaders. Relatively short and fairly readable. The chapters on the Axis leaders are not for the weak-stomached.
Posts: 1075 | Registered: Apr 2011
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quote:Rosa Maria: you might like this book, it is a fictionalized story based on a real person and her family who live in a garbage dump in Cambodia. It is a deeply moving and inspiring book. I will have to read the one you mention as well. http://www.therentcollectorbook.com/about.htm
I spotted that one at the Deseret Book store and I immediately put it on hold at the library. I know about people living in those dumps after I read a story about a former Hollywood movie executive who gave up his wealthy lifestyle to help children living there.
Posts: 59 | Registered: Oct 2011
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I'm currently reading The Price of Politics by Bob Woodward. Though I'm not far into the book, so far it's fascinating. I'd best give a warning on language though...there are actual quotes of our political leaders and some of them use profanity profusely.
Posts: 3194 | Registered: May 2006
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My most recent non-fiction books was 1493: Uncovering the World Columbus Created by Charles C Mann. It's sort of in the same vein as his "1491" book, but it's more focused on all the ways that the discovery of the New World opened up trade and biological interchange amongst the continents.
He also dealt with some cultural movements, especially the "maroons" and their cities and nations that they created. Fascinating stuff.
Posts: 1331 | Registered: Mar 2001
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