posted
So I made it to church the the other day, spinal injuries make it rather hard to do it on a regular basis. Sitting it would seem in the church chapel chairs is not the best and the little chairs are murder.... So I find myself sitting through Sacrament (the actual bit not the talks) and outside in the hallway for the talks. I was advised to sit in the comfy chair, yet when I did the looks I got made me wish I ceased to exsist. My daughter went to EFY and is now dragging us along , which is good its just the pain is bad.
One thing I have noticed is that to distract myself I answer questions. Only I find I am the only one to do it, and when I do well its the looks again... so I shut up think through the responses and say nothing - and well no one answers the teacher tries to engage the class and it goes nowhere. Even one day I missed church my wife went and came home to tell me that the teacher missed me and the class was almost sullen in its silence.
I sit and sigh and don't even bother - along with my pain its all becoming a case of well whats the point - I'll go for sacrament and head home to be in pain there, least there no one gives me the sullen stares.
Posts: 1460 | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
Josh, you are not alone. My husband is in the same boat as you. He'll try to last longer but it is so painful. I have often wondered why, when so much is known about ergonomics, why does the church persist installing the same benches. There are so many people, old and young, with bad backs.
Posts: 5051 | Registered: Aug 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
Josh, you missed my wail about our renovations. Our building is one big room used for everything so we do not have benches, we have those stacking chairs. Recently the renovations and building guy came though and removed all the chairs with arms we had for the aged and handicapped. They don't match. I have another chair with a high back and arms to support my shoulders after 2 hours of the badly designed stacker chairs. I was told if I wanted a special chair I had to haul it back and forth every sunday. it folds and could be set in a closet but no it has to go back and forth every sunday.
The Lord said bring me your poor lame and crippled and I will give them rest- apparently not during church meetings. ha ha.
So you aren't alone in the where and how to sit crowd at church. Why you get sullen looks I don't know. I am sort of known for my studied approach to the Scriptures and so often the SS techer will ask me for opinion...and it puts me on the spot because I have to translate what I know into Dutch and water it down for the peanut gallery and not derail the class It's a tarbaby thing.
I hope you can find peace and joy in the Gospel that has nothing at all to do with your ward. It is the only way to survive tiny congregations with few friends.
posted
Josh, you're not alone. I get the looks, too, probably because I'm relatively young and theoretically look healthy. Thing is, pain and health problems and associated mobility and other problems are frequently not visible, but those who've never experienced it don't understand that, generally speaking. I have gotten a fair bit of judgements from people who think I must be faking it. I no longer care. Well, no, I do because I'm that kind of person, but I do my level best to ignore it and take care of myself anyway.
We also have stacking chairs that are incredibly painful. For me, while they hurt my back, it's more that they're just perfectly designed so that my hips and pelvis dislocate while sitting on them, so I really can't sit on them for long without doing further damage to myself. How's that for a conundrum?
I don't have any answers other than you're not alone. You're really not. And you've got to take care of yourself, regardless of the lack of understanding in others around you. Your health is more important, so protect it however you must.
I'm sorry you're in so much pain. Posts: 4296 | Registered: Apr 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Bless you dear people who are trying hard to be faithful & diligent, & stay active in Church, while coping with these challenges. You'll be in my prayers.
I don't like to think that HQ is insensitive to the needs of so many people, but I don't understand why people who need certain seating for medical reasons can't leave it in the building if it is small enough to store without being in the way.
Since Josh, Jana, & Quid are outside North America, I wonder if this has been an issue for people in the U.S. or Canada as well, or are these arbitrary decisions by some Area Authorities?
Posts: 12844 | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I bring a "donut" pillow and sit outside on the couch during sacrament meeting. There's nobody to stare at me out there, although sometimes it's a bit lonely. For Sunday School, which is in the chapel, I sit sideways on a side bench, leaning against the wall on my pillow. I knit or crochet (which serves 2 purposes: it keeps my hands from getting worse neuropathy, and it keeps me awake, since I'm on oxycontin 24/7). I'm sure some people think I'm being disrespectful, but frankly I don't care. Sometimes I can make it to Relief Society, more often not. Fortunately, they have deeply cushioned folding chairs, so I can sometimes tolerate it. Josh, you are there to worship the Lord, so ask questions, answer questions, and know that the teacher and the Lord appreciate your attempts, even if others are too short-sighted to understand or appreciate.
A few months ago, my mother was walking from her car to the building and tripped on one of those bumper-things that they sometimes put in parking lots. It was bolted to the pavement, (supposedly in case someone tried to drive into the building, it would delay them?! That's what someone told me) Anyway, the bishop was horrified that my mom broke her eye-bone, broke off a front tooth, and was pretty banged up. He insisted on the church paying the thousands of dollars for her dental work and told the stake pres. that the bumper things were useless and a lawsuit waiting to happen. They got permission to remove them. People who do not suffer from physical ailments (or age-related issues) simply don't understand. And we can't expect them to.Education is the key. Once people understand the physical issues, it has been my experience that they have been supportive.
Posts: 1670 | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I don't think they are arbitrary decisions by area authorities. I think they are often arbitrary decisions by the facilities department. In our chapel renovation (US) they put in cut outs on some benches so wheelchairs would fit without causing the fire hazard. At the same time, they put the last bench so close that a wheelchair can't traverse the back of the chapel because the aisle is too narrow.
I would suggest that these are issues which need to be reported in writing up the chain of command. Because I cannot believe that anyone in leadership positions would not willingly accommodate any church member with disabilities to the full extent they can.
Posts: 2180 | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Wish my bank was so understanding! They have placed a stupid rubber system around the keys and it makes it hard to get to the keys to key in passcodes and amounts. I complained in behalf of everyone with hand and vision problems. Received a letter stating that it was for my benefit (privacy protection) and they suggested I get money at stores when I pay with my debit card(which I don't have). The rubber is bent over instead of straight up. Straight up would be just as good a shield. Don't think anyone actually researched all the issues.
Meanwhile, I physically can't stand in line long without being in pain so I am stuck with their stupid "protection" system!
I am glad the bishop took things into his own hands and handled the situation. It's just sad that someone got hurt before that happened. V.
Posts: 4114 | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
They are making those decisions based on the financial considerations of equipping many many buildings. And streamlining it so that all buildings are equal. It is industrial, it is practical, and it is cheaper than unique problem solving for every chapel.
They have our Bishop over a barrel because he was told right out that changing any of the new set up would mean that the buildings other needed repairs would be blacklisted.
I did prevail upon him to reverse the piano and the organ so the organist can actually see the music director. And we are looking for a rear view organists mirror for on top of the piano. But that is it as far as any changes to the chapel. I think they really scared poor Bishop.
And I discovered the curtainless RS room makes the sound bounce worse than ever, so hard of hearing folks miss a lot. And no curtains in the chapel mean that most of the congregation have to squint through the entire meeting if the sun is out. Good thing we live in a fairly sunless land.
No curtains because of dust mites. That have never been an issue in that building in the last 20 years.
In the meantime, I have finally wrestled my personal feelings back down to the point of I-don't-care. The only thing I really would take action about is teaching totally incorrect principles. For the rest, three hours of intensely boring painful hard to understand word salad in exchange for a current temple recommend is what it is.
Posts: 5479 | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
V, your US bank is obligated to follow ADA. In writing, request a reasonable accommodation of your disability under ADA. I'd be really surprised if they come back with the same response.
Posts: 2180 | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
It's a tarbaby thing.
