posted
I know that LDS has some assistance for members or people who want to convert to get alcohol out of their life. Here is my deal. My parents are alcoholics and most of my family. When ever there was stress in my home, out came the booze. Lately I have had a really hard time. And the other night I went out and I had some Margaritas. Today I went to the doctor and she went off on me saying I was repeating a very very dangerous pattern. That I have a baby and I had put him in danger by drinking. Now, I should add my husband was there the whole time, and while it scared him, he was not drinking. I was so so so humiliated. I felt like an awful mother, I felt like she was going to report me or something. etc. etc. I need to know how to get help for someone like me. I don't think I am an alcoholic, but i do believe I exhibit signs of a pattern when I get stressed. It is actually one of the things holding me back from converting. We are moving to another State in one week and I preparing to contact missionaries there and get going. But I need to know resources for someone with a background like mine. please don't scold me, I feel bad enough as it is. I have been shamed and frightened. please pray for me.
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posted
me1601, Don't beat yourself up. You're not an awful person. From what I have seen you are a good person trying very hard to do the right thing.
It's good that you recognize the alcoholism in your family, and that you are probably not immune to those tendencies. When it comes to alcoholism I don't think the main problem is the drinking itself- it's that the alcoholic is trying to escape, or drown out, their unpleasant feelings (guilt, fear, sadness, stress, shame, etc.).
It's good that you are talking about it. There is a saying in 12 step groups- "You are only as sick as your secrets". If you are worried about falling into alcoholism perhaps you should try AA or the Church's 12 step program, which is based on AA. Since I don't think you are a full-on addict yet, though, I think that I would recommend going to Adult Children of Alcoholics first, and see if it helps.
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posted
I have gone to AA and NA on and off for more than 20 years. It's a blessing to me. In many areas, the church offers it's own 12 step program modeled after AA but you can find AA everywhere.
If you are scared, go. It's OK.
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posted
I hope the doctor wasn't purposely trying to humiliate you. I hope that her motives were good & that maybe she unintentionally put you on the defensive.
What Jim said, about recognizing this tendency in your family. You're aware that it's caused trouble for your parents & makes you vulnerable. It's understandable that you might be hesitant about committing to baptism with this issue in your life, because you know we make covenants & you don't want to take them lightly, & you deserve credit for that attitude.
After you move, contact the missionaries asap. If there is an option for you to meet with a senior missionary couple, this could be a good fit for you. Not that young missionaries aren't wonderful, because they are awesome, but the senior couples simply have more experience with people & various life situations. If you feel you need help with the alcohol issues, they can refer you to the Church's 12-step program.
I have seen lifelong smokers or drinkers give up the habits cold turkey when they joined the Church. Not that everyone does, because everyone is different. But there is a power in making covenants with God when you are committed to keeping them.
You'll be in all of our prayers. I'm not sure we know exactly what to pray for, but we'll ask the Lord to give you strength & comfort.
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posted
The 12 step programme offered by the church is really good. You can participate it even if you're not a member of the church. When you go to church on your new area, the bishop or the relief society president should know when and where the group meets. The missionaries wont necessarily know that.
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posted
I second what EDGJanitor said. My wife recently got her 15 year coin. You might find that the average Mormon has no clue about what things are like for you - but some of us do understand.
One thing to keep in mind - walk into any church, and you will sit next to folks who grapple with their own pile of sins and challenges. The people up on the podium are the same. None of us are perfect.
Don't look at where someone else appears to be on their personal path to righteousness, otherwise you'll give up. Just focus on where you're at, and the step you should be taking today and tomorrow.
posted
In believing Christ, Stephen Robinson talks about a woman whose appearance and habits made her ward incredulous when the missionaries baptized her (which is pretty wrong in itself, but beside the story). It took her ten years before she has shed the bad habits sufficiently to qualify for a temple recommend. He then asked the question, on what day did she qualify for the celestial kingdom. The answer was the day she was baptized and every day thereafter that she was doing her personal best and quickly repenting.
If you delay your baptism until you feel worthy and are sure you will never mess up, you will be denying yourself the gift of the Holy Ghost which will help you and guide you so you'll have less risk of messing up. You don't have to be perfect in order to be baptized. If that were true Jesus would be the only church member.
posted
[removed as I misread the OP - thanks for the correction Dyany]. Rather than let it beat you down, take it as a wake up call and make a very strong commitment not to do it again. Involve your husband if you can and, as you are exploring now, get in a program. Support is important.
My dad is an alcoholic. My grandfather on my mom's side was an alcoholic. I was raised mostly by my mom who is and was active LDS and that contributed to my never trying alcohol. Even my brother, who is and has not been active since the age of 14, has never drank. I'm sure we have a propensity to alcoholism and I am glad we have avoided it.
posted
we all have areas in our lives that are hard, this talk was in the recent Ensign about a man who made a turn around from a problem w/alcohol. I realize you have a different situation but perhaps you will find some comfort in his story.
posted
thank you all so much Heavenly Father is already working in my life. after I posted this message I went to bed. And in a half sleep I heard "you are going to have a forever family" I have NO idea what this is about. But it was an amazing feeling. I am doing much better and talked to my husband about it and he was blown away by my changes, and thoughts. I can't wait to move and would LOVE to meet with senior missionaries as I need role models in my life that my parents, aunts, and uncles never were sadly. God bless you all so much. Was planning to call the Ward in Raleigh this week but we are moving in two days so eek!
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quote: And in a half sleep I heard "you are going to have a forever family" I have NO idea what this is about.
It means that you and your family are going to be sealed in the temple, by a representative of the Lord who has the authority to make your family bonds permanent. The apostle Peter was given the power to bind in heaven that which is bound on earth. It is commonplace to hear "Til death do you part." This is the limit of the authority available outside the temple. There are a very few ministers of Protestant faith who, at the request of people getting married, proclaim that a marriage will last beyond death, but they do so without the authority of God to do so, and so such promises are of no effect after death.
Malachi prophesied that Elijah would turn the hearts of children to their parents and the hearts of parents to their children prior to the second coming of the Lord, and added that this was necessary in order to fulfill the purpose of this world. In fulfillment of this prophecy, Elijah visited Joseph Smith and gave him the authority to seal families together. That authority still exists in the church, and is exercised inside the temples.
[ January 26, 2012, 10:22 AM: Message edited by: Randy ]
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